B is for Batavia.
And blasphemy.
In Batavia, both Beth and Meg used to misplace their shoes all the time. We would always be looking for one of them. Complete pairs never went missing -- just one of the two. All the time.
I loved comic books then, and comic books had wacky advertisements that were meant to be very serious for products that will, say, bulk you up if you were a scrawny guy who got kicked with sand at the beach, or make yer butt bigger if you were a woman with a flat butt (never got that one), or possibly accept lucky you into correpondence art school if you copied the drawing of their cartoon profiled animal using your undiscovered talents and sent it in to them. Once, during a dinner party mom and dad were having, i came down to the kitchen, and interrupted mom to ask her if i could have a money order for this witchcraft book advertised in the back of one of my comic books. It said that, among other wonderful yet kinda ominously couched things, it would help you find stuff that was lost. i told her that i wanted to get it to help Meg and Beth find their shoes. Mom got really angry, and told me that witchcraft was bad and against our religion. i was so embarrassed for the faux pas. To want something that was against catholicism was a big no-no. Didn't know why it was "against our religion," but, oh the shame! the guilt! i ran upstairs and cried facedown on my bed. i just wanted to help find the shoes, but, in doing so, i had become a devil-lovin heathen!!
Them's tough breaks for a seven year old.
posted by aimee @ 9:57 AM
3 Comments:
You know, Mom used to hand out that "it's against our religion" thing a lot. Mostly I remember her talking about Grandma's palm reading that way. I always thought that was strange, because Grandma is so devout, and I thought she would have been the first to cut herself off if she thought it was anti-Catholic. I had a heavy ouija board phase, and I can't remember Mom saying anything about that. Which is also strange. She had arbitrary religious rules.
I don't remember losing shoes. Though another poor mom example - remember how she used to keep all her shoes piled on the floor of her little closet? To sort them out, you'd have to sort through huge dustballs, and you'd discover shoes you never knew existed in the depths of that closet. I think we shoved our shoes under the bed in about the same way. Good way to misplace one.
You were really young when you lost shoes -- like maybe 4-7 years old. Real small shoes. Happened all the time/ Ask mom!
And, yeah! How do other people deal with their shoe stash? We really did just learn to jam ours in any possible kinda-hidden space.
Ok. I'd like to declare that, as contrasted with all of my sisters, I have moved away from those cram-as-much-as-you-can-in-the-closet (or under the bed) tendencies we learned as children. So, I can answer the question "how do other people deal with their shoe stash."
Shelving, people. Shelving.
Also, regular picking up after oneself. Really, it helps. Put your shoes on the shelves.
I have three long, long shelves behind my clothes rack in my closet for shoes. For a lot of shoes. It really helps.
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